I used to think that if I tried hard enough I could change someone else. I learned the hard way that it’s just not possible. People can change, but only if they want to. I wanted to change my hair color and I wanted to dress differently – I didn’t do it because someone else wanted me to. I did it because I was ready for a change.

A lot of people in relationships try to change their partner. I’m guilty of this even though I know it’s wrong. It’s hard not to try though, especially if you truly believe that if your partner changed they would be “perfect”. However, that’s selfish, because the reason you’d want them to change is to benefit you. If your partner or friend changes just to please you and doesn’t see any benefit for themselves, they’re likely to be resentful later and may not actually change. That’s not what you want because then you’ll just get stuck in a vicious cycle in which you think they’re changing, and then you realize they aren’t, so you try to change them again…. and it keeps going and going. This isn’t healthy.

I think that the best thing to do is to talk to your partner about what you want them to change and why. Then, give them the freedom to decide if they want to change and whether they will or not. In return, I think you should ask your partner if there’s anything they want you to change. We often forget to do this, but it shouldn’t get overlooked because it shows that you recognize that you aren’t perfect and may be willing to compromise. If you’re both willing to make changes, your relationship might be saved. If not, I think it might be time to break the cycle and move on.

-Erica

You’re probably wondering: Wait a minute – is this a real “disorder”?

Well, no, not really. NDD is not a medical condition in the same way as asthma or a broken leg. Rather, NDD is an idea that describes something that is happening to young people. “Nature Deficit Disorder” is just a clever term to catch people’s attention. 

Many factors have caused this condition to become common among American teens. First, as we spend more time in front of screens – TVs, video games, computers, iPads, and smart phones – we spend less time doing other things, including spending time outside. The average teen spends over 6 hours a day in front of a screen! Second, we are spending more and more time on wheels (cars, subways, buses) to get us to and from school, to the store downtown, and even to our friend’s house a few blocks away. Most teens spend very little of their free time outdoors.

So how exactly does NDD lead to all those health problems?

It’s easy to see the connection between too much indoor time and obesity and diabetes – if you’re spending 6 hours a day in front of a glowing screen, you can’t possibly be moving around enough to stay healthy. However, we are learning more about the other health benefits of spending time outside. For instance, spending free time outdoors has been shown to improve people’s ability to concentrate and pay attention in school. Time spent in nature can improve your mood. And navigating the natural world, such as going hiking in the woods, can improve your self-confidence and problem-solving skills. 

In short, spending time outdoors is healthy for you.

Now let’s talk about the cure for NDD. Luckily, you don’t need to live in the mountains to get the benefits of the great outdoors. Your backyard, a local park or wooded area, or even a tree-lined street can give you the right “dose” of nature. The next time you have some free time – either by yourself or with friends – put down the remote, game controller, iphone, or ipad, lace up your shoes, and go outside. The next time you need to run an errand or visit a friend’s house, walk there instead of getting in the car. If you feel unsafe in your neighborhood, plan an outing somewhere with a friend to a local park. They’ll probably enjoy the change of pace.

Also, use your summers wisely! This is a great time to restore the “nature deficit” that has built up during the school year. Go to a summer camp (as a camper or a counselor, depending on your age) or take advantage of programs offered by your city or town. Many programs offer free or reduced-price tuition. Visit the American Camp Association’s website for more information.

Good luck fighting Nature Deficit Disorder!

-Nancy

During the first part of the event there were different art-related workshops and things to do. I decided to attend a workshop on printmaking. My group was able to make our own creations using paints and shaving cream. We mixed the paints and shaving cream to make a design or pattern that we wanted and then pressed the design onto a piece of paper to make the print. All the designs came out really cool, and it’s definitely an easy project to try at home! I was excited to make some art and try out different patterns while meeting new people during the workshop.

Next, we went to the main part of the museum and participated in a museum scavenger hunt. It was fun and we were able to explore all the galleries. I remembered a few things from when I had been there on a field trip back in elementary school, but I had forgotten about a lot of the artwork and the beautiful gardens that are in the middle of the museum. It was a breathtaking sight to see all the art mixed with nature. There were artists sketching the gardens and architecture of the building, and I marveled at their talents and abilities.

As the night concluded I was impressed by all the new things that the curators have done to the museum. I really enjoyed being there and definitely want to go back at some point during the day when it might be less crowded. I was so glad I got the invitation and I look forward to going back and maybe even sketching something of my own. I encourage you all to do the same; the experience is definitely worth it!

-Katie

The police became involved after they received a call from someone from the child’s school saying that the kindergartener was in pain from a sunburn. The mom denied the allegations saying that her daughter got sunburned from “being out in the sun on an unseasonably warm day”.

After reading this story I was deeply upset to think that a mother could possibly do such a cruel thing to her young child. It made me realize how a person can be so obsessed with something that they can force their ideas and beliefs on others. In this situation (if the allegations are true) I feel that the New Jersey mom went too far. Exposing her daughter to ultraviolet light is a known health risk. Considering the age of her child, this could be life threatening and traumatizing. Tanning can cause skin cancer, and her daughter could also become addicted to it. As she grows up, she might even feel ugly without a tan, which could lead to all kinds of problems with negative body image. This is such a bad example to be setting for your child, and now it’s all over the media.

I also think that the media can manipulate the truth, so a lot of these allegations might be false. I believe that everyone deserves to live their life how they please without being judged – as long as their lifestyle doesn’t harm others. This mom, now known for her love for tanning, has pleaded not guilty and is currently free on $2,500 cash bond. She is set to report to court soon. To be continued…

-Kayla

We feel that it is imperative for kids, teens, and adults to have a better understanding of HIV and those who live with it.

Beginning with this entry, the “Living with HIV” blog series will communicate multiple facets of what real life is like for teens and young adults who are currently living with HIV. All of the material was written by teens and young adults living with HIV, and reflects their struggles, worries, and resilience. These entries will cover various aspects of daily life, including school, friendships, and worries about the future.

-The Young Men’s Health Initiative staff

Dear HIV:

• “You’re the annoying eyelash that I can’t get out of my eye. You’re there, bothering me every second and I can’t see you, can’t get you out. You just keep bothering me.”
• “I am MAD because you took my parents away from me.”
• “The medication to treat you sucks, why does it have to be so difficult?”
• “Go away.”
• “I don’t like you; no one likes you, go away!”
• “You know those gnats that you can never get out of your house in the summer, the fruit flies? They’re all up in your business and you keep swatting them away and they go away for a while but then they come right back annoying you? That’s HIV. It’s always there, even if I can forget about it for a little while, I always get sick or something happens and it comes back.”

-Anonymous

I remember when we first entered through the door; I felt the room bursting with a jovial feeling. The walls were clean and plain white, and it felt as if the other youth advisors and I were in some type of museum. Of course, the people there were very friendly, and we had a chance to take a tour around the spacious area. The theme of the gallery was “The Freedom Trail On Trial”. The artists wanted to “execute a critical, artists’ investigation of the Freedom Trail” and bring the forgotten, historical facts of Boston (specifically the American Revolution) into light.

There were pictures of some of the youth leaders from the Urbano program up on the wall, and little exhibits depicting certain events in history; literally and symbolically. The most memorable one that stuck out to me was a large, plastic tree that reached to the ceiling of the room. On each branch of this tree hung a string with a small white sheet of paper, listing a person’s name. I was later told that the names were of people who were brutally hanged!

Towards the end of the meeting with the artists of Urbano, we all discussed our past experiences and how we could possibly express what we’ve been taught through art. The goal of this partnership was to get some ideas rolling about what artwork would be the best fit for the “Gallery @ 333”; outside of the Adolescent Medicine clinic at Boston Children’s Hospital. So far we’re off to a wonderful start. Hopefully you can come by and check out the gallery to see the new artwork on display very soon!

-Christina

Chia seeds come from a plant that belongs to the same family as mint. Although these seeds seem to just be gaining attention, they have actually been around for hundreds of years. It’s been said that chia seeds were once part of the Aztec and Mayan diet, and used by Native American tribes to treat fevers. If you’ve ever had a chia pet, you’ve actually seen chia seeds grow. With all the attention they are getting these days, it seems that chia seeds have come a long way from their days as “chia hair” on those ceramic pets.

Many health-related claims about these seeds have been made-from helping weight loss to making you feel full faster to lowering blood pressure. Are these little seeds really the “miracle catchers” they claim to be?

Nutritionally speaking, chia seeds are very similar to flaxseeds, a well-known source of protein, fiber, and healthy (unsaturated) fats. While chia seeds are slightly higher in fiber, flaxseeds have higher amounts of protein and healthy fats. Although many health-related claims have been made, there has been limited research done about the actual health benefits of eating chia seeds. There haven’t been any studies done with teens, but a study done in adults found that eating chia seeds for 3 months did not help with weight loss. Another study found that adding chia seeds to a sports drink before a long distance running event did not improve athletic performance.

More research about the health benefits of chia seeds (especially in teens) has to be done.  If you’re consuming enough healthy fats, protein, and fiber in your daily diet already, you may want to stick to what you’re doing now until more research about chia seeds is done.

-Monica

Has this ever been you? Have you ever had a grade-changing assignment due the next morning and you haven’t even started it the night before? This happens to me all the time, and it happened when I sat down to write this blog entry too. After two weeks of making up various excuses about why I should write this blog later, I stared blankly into my computer screen. Finally it hit me; I should pay attention to a few of my top distractions

Here’s a little list of some things that I did to procrastinate, and what I think I could have done differently:

• Facebook! I think I spent the most time (not writing this blog entry) on Facebook. Because I have a smartphone I’m ALWAYS facebooking. A lot of the time I use it to get in touch with people whose telephone numbers I don’t have, but mostly I waste time staring at my friends pictures, reading comments, and liking stuff… not to mention spending time thinking of witty status updates. If you want to get any work done whatsoever: GET OFF FACEBOOK! It’s a no brainer really, but no one can ever disconnect themselves long enough to actually follow through. I guarantee that if you exit Facebook while you study or do homework, it’ll go by twice as quickly.
• Electronics! For some people electronics aren’t a problem; they can pick up a video game and play a round or two, or watch 10 minutes of a television show and then walk away. I get sucked into any kind of visual distraction; electronics such as TV or video games are major ones. Studies have shown that multi-tasking decreases efficacy and actually makes work take longer. Some people like to listen to music while they do homework; this is great as long as talking or singing doesn’t distract you. As long the music has a steady beat and rhythm, it can be very soothing. Try to eliminate TV screens around your study area.
• Cell Phone! Ok, I don’t have to tell you how many times I’ve had a teacher tell me to put away my cell phone. As I said earlier, I have a smartphone, so I spend my entire life on it looking at random stuff, or listening to music, or whatever, but I mostly get phone calls, emails, and texts from friends. Though I could always silence my phone and ignore calls, just the sheer temptation of touching my phone and looking at who’s on the other line is enough to jolt me off my thought processes.

All in all, avoiding procrastinating is pretty simple… just do your work. Get yourself away from distractions either alone at a table or desk, and turn off your phone, disable your internet, put in some noise-cancelling headphones or close the door, and get down to work!

-Elan

I cannot stress how important it is to VISIT the colleges/universities that you have in mind, because what’s shown on the internet can be so much different than actually having the experience in person. Not only that, it’s very important to bring your parents along to share the experience as well, because even though it’s ultimately your decision, it also helps your parents to feel that the College/University that you plan to attend is both safe and comfortable. It also helps to get all questions answered, to get a feel of the campus, and meet new friends.

Going off to college is more than just leaving high school. It’s a new beginning and a transition into adulthood, because there are more responsibilities to take on. It’s even more important if you decide to live on campus like myself. Living on campus can be a fun experience because it helps you to mature and become responsible, with making your own schedule, doing work study, etc., but most of all it proves to your parents that you are growing up and capable of living on your own. Being that I am the first generation in my family to attend a university makes this experience even more special to me. I’m now an even bigger role model for my younger siblings to show them that when you work hard, success is bound to come your way. Having the responsibility of everyone look up to me to graduate from college and amount to something is my motivation to strive and do my best.

If you happen to be in a similar situation, just remember that when you believe you can achieve anything in life and that going to college is a step that very few people get to take, you’ll be proud of yourself for making it this far!

-Kayla

1. First of all, it’s your choice to tell or not tell your friends (or anyone else for that matter) about any medical problem you may have. It’s also your choice to share the details; nothing, a little information or everything. Remember, it’s YOUR decision! At first you may want to keep a new diagnosis to yourself until you can wrap your head around what’s really going on with your body, but at some point, you’ll likely want support from a friend and find that sharing your feelings about PCOS is helpful.
2. Learning about a new diagnosis is important. As you learn about your condition, you’ll be able to advocate for yourself and you’ll also be able to explain what’s going on (with your body) to a friend.
3. When it comes to talking about personal information, you’ll probably want to tell a friend about PCOS when you have her/his full attention rather than someplace like a party with loud music or when your friend is in a rush.
4. Get your facts straight. Read about PCOS so you’ll feel confident when explaining PCOS to a friend.
5. You may be the type of person who likes to share a lot of details or you may prefer to simply say that you “have a hormone imbalance that causes you to have irregular periods and acne.” You may wish to add that your doctor prescribed birth control pills to regulate your menstrual cycle.
6. Since birth control pills are often used to treat PCOS, some of your friends may assume that you are sexually active. It’s your choice whether you feel the need to explain why you are taking “hormone” medicine.
7. Your friends may act indifferent or quiet around you after learning that you have PCOS or they may ask you a lot of questions. When they know you are okay; it won’t be a big deal.
8. When you feel ready and confident that your friend(s) truly care about you, you should be able to count on your friends for support.

Having supportive friends can help you to deal with the challenges of a chronic illness such as PCOS. Use your judgment and think before you share any medical information.

-Phaedra