When you’re in a relationship, it’s normal to have arguments and get mad at each other, but how do you know when things are out of hand? I’m not talking about abusive relationships. I’m talking about everyday communication issues between couples.

When teens face problems in their relationship, they tend to go to friends for advice. This is a common thing to do (trust me – I do it too), but from my own experience I’ve learned that going to all of your friends for advice may not be such a good idea. Everyone views a situation in their own way. This means that if you have a problem and you ask 5 friends for advice, you’ll most likely hear 5 different opinions about what you should do. Although this may be helpful sometimes, it can also leave you stressed out because you don’t know whose advice to follow. This can just make you more confused, and the result might be that you end up doing what your friends think you should do instead of what you think you should do.

Remember that people don’t always follow their own words of wisdom. At the end of the day, you need to do what you think is right, because it’s your life and your relationship. Trust your feelings and learn to communicate with your partner. As a young woman, you should have a general idea of what a healthy relationship is. You should also know what types of things you can or can’t handle, but I do realize that this comes with maturity and experience.

It’s understandable that you might want to talk to someone about your relationship problems, but you’ll be better off talking to your partner and working things out – if you think the relationship is worth it. If you can’t talk to your partner and need someone else’s advice, pick one or two unbiased friends who genuinely want the best for you, who know you well, and you feel comfortable talking to.

-Erica