Fragile

Eating DisorderHi, my name’s Emma and I’m 15 years old. I’m a sophomore in high school, but my high school experience hasn’t been a normal one. I’ve kept my story a secret for 15 years, but I’ve decided to tell it now. It’s taken all of my strength to finally tell the world who I really am. I’m not doing it for me though; I want to share my story so other young girls like me don’t feel alone. I want them to know that somebody out there in the world understands. I want to make a difference in someone’s life; this is why I am writing this blog. I want to make a difference the way somebody made a difference for me, and to that person, thank you.

I’m in my sophomore year of high school this year, but unlike many other students I’m doing it from home. However, being home schooled isn’t the only part of my unusual story. I’ve also written 40 books. Writing has been my passion since I was 5 years old, and my imagination took off when I was 10. Most of my books are murder mysteries but my 38th is one that is near and dear to my heart, as it’s the hardest book I’ve ever had to write. Why did I have to do it? It was for my own personal recovery. Throughout elementary school and middle school I kept this part of my life very private, but after years of hiding I’m finally ready to talk about it. When I was in 4th grade, a boy in my class called me fat. I didn’t know how to cope with it. I was afraid to tell my parents. I just felt ugly and disgusting, so I stopped eating. Looking back, I know that it was the wrong decision. I’ve been struggling with anorexia for 7 years now, but I only admitted to myself that I had a problem a year ago.

The only way I knew how to get my feelings out was to write. So last year I sat down and began writing a book about four different characters who I named Jenna, Leila, Ashtyn, and Annalise – four girls hiding life changing secrets. I named the book “Fragile”; how I viewed them and myself. I initially started to write Fragile as a part of my personal recovery, but half-way through I decided I wanted to write it to help others like me. I incorporated a part of me into each of the characters. Leila struggles with an eating disorder like me. Jenna has a battle with self-harm as I did. Ashtyn had to grow up too fast when she got pregnant at 17; that represents how I had to grow up too fast from my eating disorder. Annalise fears her father who abuses her; that represents how I feared myself. I’m excited to finally share my story.

-Emma